Troubles on a stopped train

Trenitalia is the national company that manages the trains in Italy and facing a journey choosing it is like starting a fantastic adventure made of perils and unforeseen events. Only the most determined and courageous ones arrive at their destination healthy in mind and body. So, the wagons’ toilets are no exception: – attention from here on sarcasm begins – excellent, clean and functional as if they were installed on a freight car with straw as seats and chickens running between the legs of banjo players (end sarcasm). Well, I drew up my courage.

Years of the university, more or less 2010.  20:34 Intercity train Florence – Milan. With two other friends, I’m going home after a weekend in the Tuscan capital. The train is obviously running late and I am starting to suffer the excesses of the last few days, but I am calm, confident, I am keeping my wits about me, soon we will arrive at our destination and I will be able to purify myself in the familiar and beloved home toilet. But fate has reserved another ending for me. in the middle of nowhere the train begins to slow down until it stops for good. Outside the windows only the darkness of the night, not a light to change the panorama of darkness. Of course, no one warns us which is the reason for the stop and after half an hour I start to worry, the guard level of my lower belly, the one that keeps the feces where they should be in the body before they are expelled, has just been dangerously overtaken and I just don’t want to dare to venture into those filthy baths.

The minutes turn into hours

I begin to imagine the worst of the scenarios, I will have to slip into that little cubbyhole where the door doesn’t close, the paper isn’t there, the cleanliness is the same as in a slum in Nairobi and what’s more it’s full of people coming to disturb. But, as has been said many other times, it is certainly not me who can control my intestines and after two hours in the Lombard countryside I am forced to slip into that tiny bathroom with direct access to the rails, i.e. I see the sleepers from the drain and from the bottom of the toilet an icy air enters.

I come out of it after a lot of disgusting times, dirt not only in my body but also in my soul, on the same time also very happy and lighter. As ALWAYS happens in these cases, the train left two minutes after my performance. Thanks again Trenitalia, it’s always a pleasure.